once spoken, a word may be held for eternity. ..transcending through time.

one of my mom's favorite writers is john newton. since i can remember, she's had volumes of his writings shelved on the wall. every night she takes one down and reads it as she falls asleep. some people are kindred spirits even if they never meet...in this world.

she sent me a letter of his that he wrote to a friend and since then i've sent it to a few of mine. ..and whenever i read it i am encouraged, so i wanted to share it on here too...even though i'm pretty sure my mom's the only one who reads this thing :) but if someone else stumbles upon it - be blessed.


March 18, 1767.

I can truly say, that I bear you upon my heart and in my prayers. I have rejoiced to see the beginning of a good and gracious work in you; and I have confidence in the Lord Jesus, that He will carry it on and complete it; and that you will be amongst the number of those who shall sing redeeming love to eternity. Therefore fear none of the things appointed for you to suffer by the way, but gird up the loins of your mind, and hope to the end. Be not impatient, but wait humbly upon the Lord. You have one hard lesson to learn, that is, the evil of your own heart: you know something of it, but it is needful that you should know more; for the more we know of ourselves, the more we shall prize and love Jesus and His salvation. I hope what you find in yourself by daily experience will humble you, but not discourage you; humble you it should, and I believe it does. Are not you amazed sometimes that you should have so much as a hope that, poor and needy as you are, the Lord thinketh of you? But let not all you feel discourage you; for if our Physician is almighty, our disease cannot be desperate; and if He casts none out that come to Him, why should you fear? Our sins are many, but His mercies are more: our sins are great, but His righteousness is greater: we are weak, but He is power. Most of our complaints are owing to unbelief, and the remainder of a legal spirit; and these evils are not removed in a day. Wait on the Lord, and He will enable you to see more and more of the power and grace of our High Priest. The more you know Him, the better you will trust Him; the more you trust Him, the better you will love Him; the more you love Him, the better you will serve Him. This is God's way: you are not called to buy, but to beg; not to be strong in yourself, but in the grace that is in Christ Jesus. He is teaching you these things, and I trust He will teach you to the end. Remember the growth of a believer is not like a mushroom, but like an oak, which increases slowly indeed, but surely. Many suns, showers, and frosts pass upon it before it comes to perfection; and in winter, when it seems dead, it is gathering strength at the root. Be humble, watchful, and diligent in the means, and endeavor to look through all, and fix your eye upon Jesus, and all shall be well. I commend you to the care of the good Shepherd, and remain, for His sake,

Yours, JN

do i sleep by a railway?

no place to lay her head. no where to store her things - her things? what belongs to her? shoelaces. mismatched shoes - too small.
broken. discarded. forgotten.
am i a romantic? over analytic? ...

i see and hear things. things that should break you. things that should tear your heart from your chest. i don't cry. my heart is steady. it barely moves.
...is it like sleeping next to a railway? where at first you're startled awake every three hours with the train...then only once a night. ..then you sleep soundly as if you lived miles away.
am i miles away? am i numb? ...

it isn't like sleeping by a railway. it isn't apathy. it isn't tolerance from exposure. my heart does mourn the cruelties of the world...the evident and disguised injustices, the overlooked, undiagnosed, untended injuries ...but though my heart mourns, it rests. it hides in the steadfast hope of Christ. the world is full of sorrow...Christ is hope. ..and even in a world such as this, my heart is full. ..overflowing with the power of Christ. with his hope. with his love. with his truth.

when Christ is your everything.

when Christ is your love - you love others from a place of strength. your love for others is no longer proportional to the love that other people pour into you - rather it is proportional to the love which Christ continually pours over and through you. your love is endless. boundless. deep. full. raw. you love others when they are unlovable. your love is unconditional - it no longer requires others to meet certain qualifications.

when Christ is your hope - your security and satisfaction are no longer situational. the uncontrollable and unpredictable variables that live within every dimension of life: your health, your wealth, your relationships, your sanity... the variables that once haunted your thoughts and polluted your happiness - they become nothing. it isn't that they have been dismissed in apathy or denial. it is that the one thing that consumes your thoughts and saturates the dimensions ...is Christ. Christ who is steadfast. constant. loving. bright. strong. sufficient. in a world of confusion, chaos, pain, brokenness - Christ brings genuine peace to those who hide themselves in the shadow of his wings.