a flower grows slowly

it was 65 degrees today. my friend the thermometer said it was 80...definitely wishful thinking on his part (and mine) but i'll take 65 with pleasure :) flowers are coming up. they're funny. one day they're these little buds that you barely notice and when you do you're like, "hurry UP. grow UP! you're boring like that!! ughhh" ...at least that's what I'M like. i'm very impatient for flowers...especially blossoms on trees (which i guess aren't technically flowers...or are they?? well, they are to me). usually each year i notice the buds, get annoyed, forget about the flowers, and then...BOOM flowers everywhere and it seems like they've always been there.

now that i think about it...i think i'm just an impatient person. i mean, i have days where i take my time and enjoy the process of living...but sadly, i wouldn't say MOST days. i would have to say that most days, i see little buds EVERYwhere, in everything and want to rush them to being flowers already. it's really something that needs to break inside me. i want to enjoy the process of waking up and brushing my teeth. i want to go grocery shopping and stroll through the isle just checking out weird foods that i would never buy...i dunno, just enjooooy the whole grocery store experience. most of life is made up of all these little processes that i've developed a habit of rushing through to get to...what? why am i in such a hurry?

i need to rest in the arms of my Savior. even if my life is here there and everywhere emotionally, geographically, financially, career...ally. ...having Jesus to hold me steady and keep me spiritually grounded ...keeps everything stable and secure that needs to be. i think i grow more impatient when i worry. and i only worry when i'm looking away from Christ at something i'm afraid of or.. .just at ANYTHING other than him. maybe initially it isn't something i'm afraid of...but eventually, even if you're looking at pretty things . .. if you lose focus of Christ for long enough - life gets scary.

SO. i pray for God to bless me with eyes for him. i pray for him to send peace that floods a calm over me so that i am enabled to spend each minute of the day in joy with simply having Him with me.